Level-Up Your Life
Is the dial of your mind set to ‘peace, presence and possibility’ or ‘stressed, scattered and shut down?
Human beings - like smartphones - require regular updates.
If you forget to update your iphone’s OS (‘operating system’ for any technophobes out there) it becomes sluggish, glitchy and not much fun to use.
Similarly, if you neglect to update your thinking, your life can’t change.
We rarely take the time to update our mental OS - to pause and reflect on where our experiences are coming from.
And as a consequence, there’s a sense that we’re always lagging behind - that we can’t handle the demands placed upon us in an efficient, effective or beneficial way.
No matter how hard we try, or how fast we move, it seems like we’re always playing catch up.
Stress accumulates, negatively impacting our mental and physical health. We experience irreconcilable difficulties in our relationships. We find it difficult to enjoy the fruits of our labours, or to appreciate the miracle of being alive.
If this is prolonged, and the underlying issues are left unseen, we’ll likely experience burn out, sickness, and the premature signs of ageing.
Faced with this, many of us seek relief through self-medication - turning to the apparent quick fix of alcohol or drugs. Or we might seek out the help of counsellors, therapists, or alternative practitioners.
These can help the stress to abate for a while, only for it to come back with a vengeance the next time we’re challenged.
Why doesn't life ever ‘level up’ all by itself? We all want to be happier, healthier, less stuck and more flexible - but that shift in consciousness never seems to happen.
Why doesn't the operating system of our life update?
Well, remember that Einstein quote about the definition of insanity, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. If we keep doing the same old things over and over again, nothing will ever change, and certainly not for the better.
Let's explore what a genuine mental update would look like.
Upgrading our ‘Settings’
It normally feels like our experiences are simply produced by the circumstances we find ourselves in.
We can’t upgrade our thinking until we bring about a shift in that default view.
To get a sense of how that’s possible, let's think about two meanings of the word ‘setting’.
Our normal view is that experiences are produced by the external setting.
We’re stressed because we didn’t get a promotion at work. We’re anxious because the future is uncertain. We feel we’re inadequate because our friend, parent, or lover is ignoring us.
Society - and culture in general - reinforces this view continually. And the result is that we share a collective experience of mounting stress and anxiety.
But there is an alternative, and that is to recognize the role of our own internal setting - the setting of our mind, like the setting on a dial.
What is the dial of your mind set to? Is it set to ‘peace, presence and possibility’? Or is it set to ‘stressed, scattered and shut down’?
The inner setting is always prior and primary - and the external setting can only impact us if we haven't upgraded our thinking to reflect this.
The biggest game changer for me was recognizing the potential of this mental upgrade and then experiencing its impact in my life.
Our ‘inner setting’ is a constant essential quality that we can use to navigate any ‘external setting’.
How does this work?
In any given situation, rather than focusing on the outside and feeling out of control, focus on the inside instead.
The key variable to focus on is a thought, feeling, or sensation in the body.
That key mistake to recognize is erroneously equating these feelings in the body/mind with what’s going on outside.
And when we clearly identify these two aspects of experience - the internal and the external settings - and then deconstruct the apparent causal relationship between, we’ll recognize how any situation can be transformed.
For example:
● We’re not unhappy because it’s raining (external setting) but because of our habituated emotional reactions to the rain (internal setting).
● We’re not anxious because we’re running late for an appointment (external setting) but because of our habituated thoughts & feelings about being late (internal setting).
These reactions are entirely innocent. We learned them at some point and they gradually became our conditioned responses.
They’ve been suppressed and/or disavowed and yet they continue to function, giving us little peace, contentment, or natural joy.
And for as long as these reactive patterns remain in place, the notion that we have agency in our lives is a myth.
The moment we become aware of and present to these reactions, however, then, as if by magic, they begin to dissipate.
Working skilfully with Thoughts and Feelings
In each moment, experience can be broken down into physical sensations, thoughts and feelings.
Can you learn to be present to whatever’s arising and relinquish the desire for it to be otherwise?
Once you can do this you’re ready to upgrade your thinking.
You’ll discover that:
● Sensations, thoughts and feelings are temporary.
● There’s no need to catastrophize.
● There’s no need to avoid or change the world and people around you in order to feel better.
You’ll experience a subtle but definite shift into the space of Being. A sense of peace will arise in both body and mind. Tension will be released, thinking will slow down, and mental chatter will clear.
The longer we return to, and rest in, this experience of Being, the more powerful and long lasting our mental upgrade will be.
Please understand that I’m not saying difficult things don’t happen in life - of course they do.
As the spiritual teacher Syd Banks said, “Life is a contact sport”. We’ll continue to encounter things we like as well as things we don’t like.
But by upgrading our mental settings we can meet whatever arises with peace, presence and possibility.
Bringing presence to whatever arises, we can recognize reactive emotional patterns without getting caught up in them.
We’ll be able to respond skilfully to the situation, and not immediately react from outdated patterns.
A wave is just the adventitious movement of the water and a thought is just the adventitious movement of mind. Whatever emotion or feeling comes up, there’s no need to make any more of it than this.
The more you’re able to relate to thoughts and feelings as temporary events of the mind, the sooner you’ll be able to let go of patterns and genuinely level up your life.
