Wanting Change vs Enabling Change
Have you noticed that, sometimes, the more you want to change something, the less you’re able to change it?
It could be something you’re trying to change about yourself, someone else, or a situation you find yourself in. It could be the desire to change certain feelings, thoughts and emotions.
The more you want to change it, the less you feel you can…
What do we do in situations like these?
We might employ the myriad tips, techniques and fixes we’ve read about. We might seek out professional help from the various psychological therapies or motivational speakers. Or we might even decide to run away from the issue altogether.
We’ve probably all had the experience where one or more of these approaches work for a while - and in fact does give us a brief reprieve.
But often the same issues just end up coming around again - either as an exact repetition or in some new variation. And this normally adds up to one thing in our mind: failure.
If you experience failure for any length of time it’s easy to go into a downward spiral - a cycle of depression, desperation, and despondency.
And as we all know - that’s not a good place to get stuck in.
So why is it so difficult to experience lasting change?
Well, here’s the thing: from a practical point of view, wanting something to change is very different from allowing change to occur.
Wanting often comes from a sense of lack. We grasp at something outside of ourselves - in a desperate way - to fill a void within us.
Allowing, on the other hand, comes from a sense of abundance. We open ourselves up to transformation, from a place of deep trust in our potential for limitless growth.
Lasting change therefore requires a paradoxical step: relinquishing the need for things to be different.
Why is this?
It turns out that within many ‘wants’, is a hidden obstacle to attainment. By coming from lack rather than abundance, rather than empowering and enabling ourselves, we tend to self- sabotage instead.
And curiously, behind many of our desires to change something, is a corresponding fear of what life would be like if that change were actually to happen.
For instance, we may want more money, but secretly be afraid of having greater resources. So we’re wanting it, and rejecting it at the same time.
We may desire to garner greater approval from others, but also dread what might happen if we got it.
Now, I am not saying you need to stop trying to change anything at all. And I’m not saying you should try and stay exactly the same! I’m simply pointing out a specific and subtle dynamic at work in our lives.
Because if you’re able to let go of that specific sense of deprivation or lack, then you’ll shift into a very different state - one in which change can occur naturally.
And one of the outcomes of letting go of that need to change, is the natural arising of peace, presence and possibility - from within.
When you let go of that feeling of wanting things to be different, the disempowering images and stories hijacking your mind will gradually dissolve and lose their power.
You’ll discover a new clarity of mind, a new source of energy and buoyancy, and the ability to act with certainty and confidence.
Next Article: A Sovereign Hack to put this into practice.