What’s the missing piece in your life?
We all know it. We all feel it. We all sense that it's there.
Sometimes it’s striking and obvious and as clear as day. At other times it’s subtle and suggested and buried in the noise.
But all of us, deep down, have that same feeling that something crucial is missing in our lives - that there’s some elusive piece of the puzzle that’s been missing all along.
Over the past 25 years, I’ve had the opportunity to listen to and support countless clients through a wide array of human problems, pain and suffering.
And for me, it’s this nagging sense of absence that’s one of the key drivers in whatever problem an individual is struggling to solve.
At root, you see, all of us have the same core problem - a default disconnect between output and outcome that I call ‘the Circadian Paradox’.
Put simply - despite a massive amount of personal and collective effort - exerted on a consistent, unfailing, daily basis - no one’s stress is genuinely coming down, and no one’s capacity for happiness is genuinely increasing.
If that weren’t bad enough, this fundamental disconnect massively impacts our ability to make clear and beneficial decisions - decisions with the power to take us to the next level of personal and professional growth.
At its root, the Circadian Paradox boils down to something pretty simple: the thoughts and beliefs we invest our attention in moment by moment.
In fact, the term ‘pay attention’ is incredibly significant here - because our moment by moment attention is of inestimable value and impacts every area of our life.
What we dwell on we soon come to dwell in - and in this sense (as both ancient contemplative traditions and modern neuroscience now agree) our picture of the world is created by our own thoughts and outlook.
So, endlessly caught up in the Circadian Paradox, searching for but never finding that missing piece of the puzzle, most of us are chasing ghosts and mirages - forever paying attention to things that don’t actually exist.
And the result is our default state of being stressed, scattered and shut down.
When our mind is obscured by confusion like this, we naturally get caught up in inner conflict: Am I good enough? They're not good enough! Why did I do such a stupid thing?!
In fact, each of us has a favorite playlist of disparaging and destructive beliefs - that we have on repeat in our heads. No wonder we’re all so exhausted at the end of the day!
These unchecked assumptions and blind spots are at the root of the Circadian Paradox, and have both short and long term implications - on our health, happiness, decision-making and creativity.
They also play out in our relationships - both personal and professional - and impact our own sense of value and self-worth.
But (and here’s the good news) behind all of these distorted projections, and beneath all of these turbulent inner states, a deeper experience of peace, presence, and possibility is always right there to be had.
You see, the clue is actually right there is the question - and it's been there all along.
It turns out that the missing piece of the puzzle is actually the missing ‘peace’ - the peace, presence and possibility that arise naturally from within, when we learn to pay attention to the right things.
Tuning out the noise; peace, presence, and possibility reveal the essence of who we are - our real identity beneath the layers of conceptual confusion and duality.
It is a state of stillness, openness, and receptivity - an insight-friendly, ‘blessed’ environment from which the qualities of love, compassion, and connection naturally arise.
These qualities come fully online when we allow our bodies to relax and our minds to naturally settle into peace and presence.
And in terms of problem solving and life improvement, when we’re peaceful, new possibilities to respond constructively always come forth to make real change possible.
So what would your life look like if you lived in and from this place?
If you found that missing peace, how would you feel - and who would you be?