Catastrophe or Catalyst?

Ask these skilful questions when the sh*t hits the fan

Generally speaking a ‘dislocation’ is never a good thing. 

If you dislocate your arm or your finger it means something has been traumatically displaced from its natural state - and needs to be put back as soon as possible.

Dislocations mean shock, pain, worry, and massively reduced functioning.

When physical dislocations occur we know we need to act right away - but emotional or experiential dislocations are just as harmful.

In my work I encourage people to reflect on their experiential ‘location’ through the use of three diagnostic questions: Where are you? When are you? And who are you?

And very often these bring to light a highly problematic ‘dis-location’ that many of us rarely notice.

To get a sense of this, picture the following scene: you’re walking along, feeling totally chill, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, you catch your reflection in the shop window and think “wow - looking good!”

Then your phone vibrates with the following message: “It’s not you, it’s me. The relationship is over!”

In a flash, your experience shifts - from being completely chilled to completely shattered. On a dime your world becomes a living nightmare.

Question: What is your actual ‘location’ at that moment?

If you check, you’re no longer a person reading words from a screen in a sunny street, but rather, are now fully immersed in a labyrinthine, psycho-emotional matrix of feelings.

Why? Your thoughts and feelings were pre-emptively invested in a narrative version of that relationship - and projected into a further narrative version of the future. 

The complex multi-leveled illusion of that narrative projection has now been undermined, and as a consequence you’re left bereft, beleaguered and beside yourself.

Now, it turns out that the notion of being ‘beside yourself’ is actually very instructive here, so let's think about it a little further by posing the following questions:

•  At that moment, are you ‘beside’ an old position that was true - and now in a new position that is false? 

• Or, was the previous position that you’ve now been displaced from, not where you really were in the first place?

• When it comes down to it - what is your actual, real location? 

• Where are you? When are you? And who are you?

Although these questions might feel somewhat strange to pose, they are actually incredibly important. Because according to the experience of mystics and meditators over centuries - and now corroborated by the latest neuroscience - most of the time we are not abiding in our authentic, reality-based location. 

Most of the time we aren’t where we really are.

Instead, we default to seeking security and identity in self-projected houses of cards - which, I think you’ll agree, is an extremely vulnerable thing to do.

And it doesn't have to be something as serious as a relationship breakup to cause these painful dis-locations either.

Traffic jams, being cut up in supermarket lines, office disagreements and domestic quarrels are all characterized by that same jarring sense of dissonance - as we’re displaced from one version of reality into another.

But here’s the thing: more often than not - we were already dis-located anyway. We were already out of sync with our real nature and cut off from our actual potential. 

We were already dis-located from the way things really are.

In which case, circumstances like these can actually serve as super-helpful reminders - encouraging us to pose the diagnostic questions above, and to find our way back to our authentic, reality-based location and identity.

So, in conclusion, what is our real location and what is our reality-based identity? 

Well, according to the inner science of meditation, it’s what I like to call the Three P’s of peace, presence and possibility.

And this is something you can experience for yourself.

If you learn to tune into the Three P’s you’ll discover how they allow you to arrive where you actually are, and to establish an authentic inner security based on who you really are and what you’re truly capable of.

And then, with familiarity, you’ll be able to recognise an emotional dis-location the moment it occurs, and know how to return your awareness to its natural and authentic state.

I hope you found this helpful.

Related Reading: Sovereign #Hacks: Shifting from Thinking to Being

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